Ever notice how some people always get the best table, the upgraded room or the best cut of meat at the market. Conversely, others seem to continually get the surly waiter, lazy clerk or indifferent bellman. Great customer service is not an accident. Those who are served well follow a deliberate recipe that turns even a cold, raw initial encounter into a warm and delicious experience.

1. Check Your Pessimism at the Door

Enter the service scene with the expectation that greatness is about to happen and that it should happen to you. Visualize being served well. Then let your positive attitude and confident expectation come from your terrific mental picture. Avoid making demands. Instead, put your energy into creating lighthearted vibes.

The first ten seconds are key to shaping the reception you are likely to get. Aim your eyes and very best Steinway smile at the service provider. Then deliver a greeting that loudly proclaims, "We are about to have some unbelievable festivity here. And you’re invited!" Optimism and joy are generally infectious.

Most service people really are eager to give great service. But sometimes barriers make it difficult. Be a willing helper in clearing barriers away. If the barrier is a foul mood, try a quick tease or a sincere compliment to turn sour into sunny. If the barrier is an absurd policy, offer a novel suggestion that helps you get what you want without putting the service person at risk.

4. Always Lace Your Encounters with Respect

No matter how determined a service provider seems to provide the absolute bare minimum, treat the server with respect. Sometimes a "no" is an unshakable "no!" Be assertive but never pushy or aggressive. Always use your best manners—"please," "sir’s," and "thank you’s." Remember: a chilly initial reception will generally thaw if you are persistent in your cheerfulness.

5. Invite the Service Provider to Join Your Adventure

Use a playful style that lets the service person permit him or herself to be a bit mischievous. Instead of announcing: "I’d like a no-smoking table with a view," try: "We’d love to get the table YOU’D want if this was your special night. I know you can get us just the right spot." If you help make service delivery feel fun, you’ll have servers want to join you on the playground!

6. Be Generous and Thoughtful

Never view a service encounter as a single transaction but rather the start of an important relationship. Assume you’ll be back and be generous in expressing your gratitude for great service. Praise service people to their superiors. Express your compliments to great service providers with a follow-up note or call. The next time you return, you’ll get their red carpet best!

Don’t wait for great service to come to you. Take charge of elevating the encounter from a "pretty good" transaction to an "I wouldn’t go anywhere else" relationship. Service people like great customers just as much as customers like great servers. Serve from your heart and you’ll be served in the same fashion.